THE NEST

1. 0:00In the public lobbies of the Master Chief Collection,
2. 0:05a small family of Spartans ventures out to forage among strangers.
3. 0:12Our guide is Hitless Simo, whose eyes we borrow.
4. 0:18His first outing produces a result he is quietly proud of.
5. 0:24Oh, fourth place, that's not bad.
6. 0:27Out of four?
7. 0:28Elected to three.
8. 0:29No, not out of four.
9. 0:31In Oddball, every Spartan is issued a color.
10. 0:37Ours has been issued a vivid yellow.
11. 0:41An unfortunate choice for a creature that survives by not being noticed.
12. 0:47Maybe it's the fact that I'm yellow and everybody can see me.
13. 0:50The match ends.
14. 0:52The scoreboard records a single kill.
15. 0:56The deaths take a little longer to count.
16. 0:58Look at that, 40 points, that's un-bore-ivable.
17. 1:02One kill.
18. 1:05Alright, that's not as many deaths as I expected.
19. 1:08I would agree.
20. 1:10There's something about...
21. 1:12Actually, I think that's 16.
22. 1:13Ugh!
23. 1:14That is 16.
24. 1:15Not every member of the family struggles.
25. 1:18Elective Simo takes regicide outright.
26. 1:22The first of four wins, he will claim, before the session is out.
27. 1:28Further down the table a quieter rivalry is settled
28. 1:33Elderlan and our guide finish level on kills and level on assists and
29. 1:39Elderlan still edges him on points. Oh
30. 1:43I beat Steve
31. 1:48Hi of a benchmark to be shooting for
32. 1:51Well, let's see here
33. 1:53okay yeah you edge me out four kills the four kills three assists midway through
34. 1:58the evening the family grows Imminent Tass arrives soda Shadow Knight and the
35. 2:06household takes the appropriate precautions
36. 2:14all right twitch shields up red alert shadow nights here TAS is joined in
37. 2:19In Rockets, elective Simo wins again.
38. 2:24At the other end of the list, two Spartans finish on exactly the same score.
39. 2:31Our guide and Shadow Knight, one of them would like it known that they are nothing alike.
40. 2:38Oh, dang it. Oh, no, Shadow Knight got the same score as me.
41. 2:42We are totally different. Look at that, my name is SJS, yours is EMP, that's totally
42. 2:50different.
43. 2:51Later rivals prove dangerous. Imminent Tass, the family sniper, finishes second in a lobby
44. 3:00of strangers. And Impending Fate, barely through the door, beats our guide by a single kill.
45. 3:08Look at that, fate edged me, that's an outrage.
46. 3:20Elderlan is the family's utility player.
47. 3:24He does not chase kills, he finds the hill and stays on it.
48. 3:2968 points of standing still and the win musical Simo
49. 3:35newly arrived takes second game over Oh
50. 3:42Elderlan Wow, what a hero
51. 3:4922 rounds in the open
52. 3:515 1 by family
53. 3:5317 by strangers, and so, at last, the family withdraws to the nest.
54. 4:01A private game, just the six of them.
55. 4:05Red against blue, the house rules are agreed.
56. 4:14You could shoot him, it's okay, friendly fire is turned on.
57. 4:17I would encourage it.
58. 4:18For Blue, Shadow Knight and Imminent Tass, each capture a flag.
59. 4:26Red answers.
60. 4:27Then, with the game on the line, our guide is cut down by his own teammate.
61. 4:34The kill feed is unambiguous.
62. 4:37Hitless Simo, betrayed by elective Simo.
63. 4:41Seconds later, Red captures.
64. 4:44Three flags to two.
65. 4:48He betrayed me! That stinking, this punk-y elective betrayed me to get the flag captured,
66. 4:55you little weasel. I was carrying. I got, that would have been my second one.
67. 5:05Red wins. Elective Simo tops the table with two captures, but in the nest,
68. 5:13No result is final.
69. 5:15Someone demands a rematch and it is granted immediately.
70. 5:22We are definitely rematching.
71. 5:23Screw you, hippies.
72. 5:25I need to get a little snack.
73. 5:27Now we want revenge, obviously.

Machine transcript of the final mix: squad names corrected, profanity masked. Tap a line to play it.