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ONE LIFE MORE
Squad anthem
SAFETY FIRST
INCIDENTS THIS VIDEO: 0. IT DOES NOT STAY 0.
4:02 · 1080P · C4LA-SQUAD
A 1990s workplace safety-training tape for a Battlefield squad. A cheerful narrator teaches five modules and every rule is broken by the very next shot, with a red VIOLATION stamp and a running incident counter: friendly fire, two self-kills, a jet roadkill and then the jet into a mountain, a bomber, a squadmate's helicopter, LAST MAN IN SQUAD twice, an anti-air mine. Then a pop quiz (129 incidents, 39 self-inflicted) and a certificate stamped 0%.
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Transcript · automatic · 66 lines 0:02 Hello, and welcome to the team! 0:05 At C4La, nothing matters more than your safety. 0:09 This video will take about five minutes. 0:12 Please pay attention. There will be a quiz. 0:15 Let's get some safety first. 0:17 Safety first! Safety first! 0:22 C4La, safety first! 0:26 Module One: know your target. 0:28 Before you pull the trigger, ask yourself: is that a teammate? 0:39 ...That was a teammate. 0:42 Let's try that again. 0:44 Did you all fire at me at one time? Is that on purpose? 0:48 ...Also a teammate. 0:52 Check your target! Safety first! 0:57 C4La, safety first! 1:02 Module Two: handle explosives with care. 1:05 Explosives go away from you. 1:07 Never, ever toward your own feet. 1:10 Please stay safe! 1:12 ...Toward your own feet. 1:13 I killed myself. 1:15 ...Again, your own feet. 1:19 Away from you! Safety first! 1:21 C4La, safety first! 1:26 Module Three: operate aircraft responsibly. 1:30 A jet is not a car. 1:32 Please do not run anyone over with a jet. 1:38 ...And please do not park it in a mountain. 1:43 Bombers drop bombs on the enemy. Only the enemy. 1:46 This friendly fire. 1:48 It did not go well. 1:50 Helicopters are for transport. 1:53 Not for transporting your teammates to the respawn screen. 2:00 Fly with care! Safety first! 2:03 C4La, safety first! 2:07 Module Four: never leave a teammate behind. 2:10 Stick together. Watch each other's backs. 2:16 ...Last man in squad. 2:23 I'm sorry I was anywhere near you, buddy. My bad. 2:27 Module Five: mark all hazards clearly. 2:31 If you place a mine, tell your team. 2:36 ...He did not tell his team. 2:39 Tell your team! Safety first! 2:41 C4La, safety first! 2:44 Pop quiz! 2:45 How many safety incidents has C4La reported on camera? 2:49 Is it A: none? B: a few? 2:53 Or C: one hundred and twenty-nine? 2:58 The answer is C. 3:00 Thirty-nine of them... were self-inflicted. 3:03 Wow, not on purpose! 3:06 Congratulations! 3:08 You have completed C4La Safety Training. 3:12 Your final score is... 3:15 Zero percent. 3:18 Safety first! Safety first! 3:20 Check your target, watch your feet, 3:22 Never fly a jet into the street! 3:26 Safety first! Safety first! 3:30 Check your target, watch your feet, 3:32 Never fly a jet into the street! 3:37 Safety first! Safety first! 3:42 C4La... safety first! 3:48 Remember: safety is everyone's job. 3:54 Especially yours. 3:59 Okay, nice safety tip, everyone. Machine transcript of the final mix: squad names corrected, profanity masked. Tap a line to play it.
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